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Review

Alex’s Review Roundup

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Alestorm – No Grave But The Sea

Release date: 26th May 2017

Label: Napalm Records

The Scottish ‘Pirate-metal’ pioneers Alestorm released their fifth studio album No Grave but the Sea in May of this year. Uniquely, the album is a mash up of folk metal, pirates, power metal, pirates and swearing. Oh, and pirates.

To start, I can’t tell if this is a joke gone too far to be honest. It isn’t funny, it isn’t smart and let’s be frank, it isn’t good. It sounds like the sort of thing you would hear playing at a pirate themed mini golf course and would pay no attention to it. The fact that so many people actually do pay attention and rave about Alestorm, is just sad.

Musically it is your standard middle of the shelf album. There is nothing remarkable there, it’s a bit repetitive and boring in places, but overall isn’t too offensive to the ears. Lyrically, it’s abysmal. Overly simplistic rhymes about being a pirate and what can only be described as an immature lazy use of swearing in an attempt to get cheap laughs. The first single from the album Fucked with an Anchor, creatively rhyming anchor and wanker could have easily been written by two nine year olds who are trying to write down every swear word they know for a bit of fun.

The final kick in the balls from this album is that if you listen to the deluxe version of the album, the bonus tracks are instrumental versions of the songs and instead of singing they have dogs barking to the tune. I wish I was making this shit up. Obviously, they are better versions of the songs as you can’t here the mind numbing lyrics, however this album should be held up as a reminder to bands that a gimmick without talent is just a barrel of shit.

Rating: 1/10
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Decapitated – Anticult

Release Date: 7th July 2017

Label: Nuclear Blast

The seventh studio album from the Polish death metal icons Decapitated, quite simply is exactly what you would expect from a Decapitated album. Anticult is packed full of heavy riffs and captivating vocals, sure to spark the interest of even casual fans of heavy music.

The most interesting part of this album for me is how it manages to maintain the elements of classic death metal, whilst also being a lot more accessible to listeners than many other death metal bands. This is the sort of album you could show to a friend with little to no interest in death metal and it would have a real chance of impressing them. That’s not to say that this album is tame in any way, shape or form. It is crafted beautifully and production wise it is at the top of the pile.

Many of these songs will find their home at festivals during Decapitated’s live set, laying wastes to fields of metal fans worldwide. Even if you do not like death metal, if any album this year a chance of changing your mind, it is this one. If you are already a death metal fan, then you know what you are getting and you will not be disappointed!

Rating: 7/10

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Mutation – Dark Black

Release Date: Early 2017

Label: Self-Released

Do you want to go on a loud and fucked up journey through the minds of Ginger Wildheart and Scott Lee Andrews? Do you want an album so heavy it will make your dog grow horns and set your house on fire? This is that album.

Mutation, for those of you unfamiliar, are a strange group having now released three albums but have not actually toured in support of any of them. As a matter of fact, their first tour is booked for later this year. On that tour expect insanity because that is what you will get.

Dark Black is an unrelenting wall of noise and aggression. If you want music with passion, this is one of the most passionate albums I have heard in a long while, an album you don’t just listen to, you experience with every bone in your body. Boasting guest appearances from the likes of Devin Townsend and former Motörhead man Phil Campbell, this album is essential listening for all fans of heavy music.

If you aren’t convinced yet, next time you are sat in traffic, listen to Irritant and find yourself screaming and shouting, unleashing so much rage that it is almost blissful.

Buy this album!

Rating: 9/10

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